I know He said He carefully planned out each session, but man am I impressed with the level of attention He pays to the details and how Im feeling. First off, He came over to my place because He wanted to work through the unintended consequences of how I was feeling after our public session. That in itself was unbelievable. But what He did with the session, what He wanted me to experience during it was again, a level above and beyond. It wasn’t just sex to help me feel better, it was sex designed to make me feel better, and He cares enough to do that. On himself, he imposed blindness, nakedness for the night.
First, He had me undress Him, completely in the light in my space. I was instructed to keep my clothes on. He asked me where would be most comfortable for me. He then got on the bed, and while I was still clothed, I sucked His dick. I was very happy to be showing Him what I could do with my mouth. (Of course I’d like to think I’m pretty good at what I do). I was listening for cues to what He likes, what He enjoyed. Changes in breathing, anything He said, when He moved His arms or when His legs flexed. His penis is fun to roll around in my mouth, to play with and suck on. It wasn’t until He was ready for sex that He instructed me to take off my clothes. I did, and He let me be on top, and ride Him all the way to an orgasm. 🙂 I was on top of Him, the only one with vision, but He was still in control, and made sure I knew it by placing His hands on my hips to control the speed I moved at. Also at one point He pulled my hair all of the way back. It reminded me that even though I was on top, it was because He wanted it that way. Even so, this whole session felt focused on what some of my talents are and how I can use them to satisfy Him. He let me give Him an orgasm, and gave me the privilege of His cum inside of me. Watching Him cum, seeing the effect I had on His body was exhilarating. I wished He hadn’t imposed blindness on Himself, so that He could see the joy on my face. I don’t think I’ve smiled like that in so long. The happiness just flooded over me while watching Him cum. Feeling His whole body response, twitch and shake, tense and relax, was very satisfying for me. And, the aftercare was perfect. We cuddled the whole night after this. Sleeping in His arms felt very reassuring, safe, comfortable. I was so happy, right there in his arms. He tried to get up and leave a few times, but I certainly wasn’t going to help Him. I was exactly where I wanted to be, and so of course I wanted Him to stay. He actually wants me there, in His arms all night. Believing that, knowing that, is calming. I fell asleep knowing that I was cared for, and that I was content with exactly where I was. There was no questioning it, which was such a relief after the day I’d had. To just accept that I was happy, and that was a perfectly okay place to be.
Again, I’m amazed at the level of thought He is putting into the sessions. He knew I was feeling like my life wasn’t all mine anymore, like I’d given up control of all of it, and so He responded with a session to show me His vulnerability, put me in a top position. He showed me that there’s power in being a sub, subbing is not an easy thing to do, and I should and can draw my own independence and strength from it. Being able to make Him orgasm gave me a lot of confidence in myself. It was a familiar way to serve for me, something I know how to do, something I could excel at. He knew I needed that familiarity, that sense of confidence in my own abilities.
I had no idea a d/s relationship could be so nurturing for the sub. Where I’ve dabbled before things have certainly been satisfying and tons of fun, but I was always being used physically, and what I might have needed emotionally was not taken into account, only the physical. This is a different experience. He thinks of all of it. Physical, mental, emotional. He’s constantly aware of where I’m at and where He wants me to be. I never thought I’d be able to give myself so completely to someone else, and His talk about it thoroughly scared me. But the more time I spend with Him, the more we talk, the more I see how much attention He pays, the less scary that notion is.
Whatever we’re gunna call this isn’t about needing the other person there. He’s capable of living his life and being perfectly happy without me, as I am without Him. I am not responsible for the betterment of His life and His happiness is not contingent upon me. That is a responsibility that is not on my shoulders here. (The more I say that, the more comfortable I’ll get with that idea).
story of a submissive 