Last night, while laying in bed, I had a calming moment. Not quite an epiphany, but, for a second, it felt like the depression had cleared, and there was clarity. It was almost a release of the negative I’d been carry around all day, and an acceptance of the position i was in.
One of the questions Knight asked of me last night was “how did the writing process feel?” At the time, I wasn’t sure how to answer that question. I was exhausted after being in a bad head space all day, and hadn’t analyzed the actual process of writing, as I was focused on what I wrote. But, after relaxing last night, and sleeping it off, I felt like the process of writing things down was overall positive.
When I’m in a bad head space, my thoughts race and its hard to focus on anything, hard to sort things out because everything is moving so fast. Having to focus on writing them down, even if there’s no processing happening, helped settle me both mentally and physically. The act of writing gave me something to focus on that wasn’t just an attempt to ignore the crap in my head. And it gave me a purpose, something to do in relation to them, instead of feeling helpless.
story of a submissive 